Breath of Life
by Andil
Summary: HPSS Slash- A year after Voldemorts defeat Snape must work with Harry as he becomes a new professor at Hogwarts...
1. Undesirable News

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing that deals with The HP universe…. Wahh… If I did I would be … RICH RICH RICH!!!   But alas, I am not, I am poor, and own nothing, so don't sue me…

A/N=  The 2nd of my stories here I have done on request… This is for you jesusservant!  Be happy and please don't throw things at me…. *hide* Anyways, other than that, I hope you enjoy!!!!!

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Chapter 1- Undesirable News 

"Headmaster, might I inquire as to whether or not you have read my request as of yet?" I stood before the headmaster looking to him probably like a hopeful schoolboy, and he regarded me in a curious manner.  "I mean, it can't be quite so dangerous as before, as Vol… He-who-must-not-be-named was defeated two years ago.  I also understand I have that irreplaceable knowledge and know how of potions, and I guarantee that I would still manage to make the schools store of potions as I do currently, but I still hold the firm belief that I would help the students more by becoming their Defense Against Dark Arts professor." He turned to some paperwork for a moment and read through a letter that I could tell had something to do with the ministry… Why was he reading that? I watched him for a while as his attention focused solely on the letter. After what seemed like an eternity to me, he slowly set the letter down, and then looked up to me over his spectacles.

            "Severus…" He leaned back in his large chair.  "Please sit.  I must speak with you on a matter of importance." He nodded towards the chair and I looked at him quizzically.  So much for that idea… Put in for the same position every bloody year and every blasted year am denied it.  Why did I put myself through it then?  It was probably because I actually wanted to help save these mongrels, albeit against my better judgment, and popular image of myself.  It was sort of like all those times I saved Potter… or tried to anyways.  "Severus…" He brought my attention back to him and I quickly took a seat.

            "Yes?" My voice had a natural hiss to it that made me sound a bit more 'threatening' than I actually was.

            "Yes well… I will first have to say I am sorry, but I cannot give you the position you have requested." I raised a brow.

            "Might I as the reason this year?" He sighed quite audibly and leaned forward.

            "Severus, I know you will not find this pleasant new, knowing you.  Not to mention other factors and how much you desire the position, but…" He trailed off, obviously dreading what it was he was about to say.

            "But?" I urged him, I had already wasted enough of my day here, and I should have known that once again my plans had been thwarted.  Perhaps next year… I watched him closely as he inhaled deeply.

            "But… The position has been filled already."  Of course it had… I stood ready to leave.  I was sick of listening to the excuses on why I had not gotten the position; I did not need to hear another.  "Wait Severus, I must tell you another thing.  It so happens that this next thing is of utmost importance.  Though I doubt you will like the outcome of it." I turned back to him slowly and then raised my brow as an inquiry to his statement, and he continued.  "Yes well, it seems that the new professor is someone that you used to teach in fact… Someone that you have had to work with before…" I crossed my arms as he evaded the name of the person and he cleared his throat.  He then, of all the bloody things to do the annoying man, held out his box of candies.  "Lemon Drop?"

            "NO!" I closed my eyes a moment to regain composure of myself then opened them up again.  "Will you just tell me who it is so that I might get back to what I was doing?" He sighed and set the box down.  

            "I apologize Severus… The one who has been taken for the position is none other than Harry Potter." I stiffened and stared at him.  Potter?  I lost the position to that prat?  Oh dear… I think I am going to be sick…  "Perhaps when he resigns his title you might be able to take over then…" So I didn't get it, and POTTER, the idiot son of one of the bloody Marauders got it only because his name just happened to be 'Harry Potter', who cared about his merits?  All right, so perhaps he DID kill Voldemort about a year ago, but I, Severus Snape, master of potions, have had much more experience with both teaching and dealing with the dark arts first hand, as unfortunate the latter may be… and that might be the mistake in my life I shall always pay for, with the exception of being born of course.  

My father was a muggleborn and my mother a halfling and their having me was a major mistake… At least, that is what I was always told by them.  I was told it was something of a fiasco when I was born, that I was the cause of 'the ruining of their nuptials' and my father had taken me in to raise after that.  Those were perhaps the best years of my childhood if you compare living with the two, as he more or less ignored the fact I even existed, except to yell at me every so often or locking me in my room because I was the 'son of that witch' quote on quote.  Unfortunately for me he had to go off and die on me when I was nine and I got stuck with my mother.  If I had thought I was miserable with him, she was my hell.  She beat me daily when I lived at home, and had that 'fun' little habit of throwing a few of the more painful unforgivable's at me whenever she had the chance to.  I dreaded going home to that wench of a woman; known as Saura Snape, it was her that volunteered me as a deatheater when I left school, not mine.  Damn her…

            I stood forcing my thoughts back to the present and farther away from the horrors of my youth, and nodded to Albus. "I think we are done here then, good day Headmaster." I turned to leave.

            "Wait…" I stopped and half looked over my shoulder to show him that I had heard his words. "The boy might not show it, but I think he actually admires you now that he understands what you have gone through… and… please understand… I am truly sorry about the position this year Severus." I started to leave but before I walked out the door I tossed over my shoulder,

            "Are you?" and then I left before he could say anything to me.  I quickly ran to my rooms and shut the door before the stress of the situation took its toll.  A half sob escaped my lips as I sunk into the large chair and then lay my head within my hands.  Why did I work myself up so much this time?  Why would I think it would have been any different? I had known Potter had given up being an auror, but I did not even fathom that he would apply for a position here.  I wonder why… The boy seemed to hate taking classes well enough… Though that might have been just the ones that I taught… No matter.

            A soft bundle of black fur suddenly leapt into my lap.  The interruption jarred me from my thoughts and forced me to look at it. All it really was a mess of fur with two big black eyes, and was somewhat, and I use that term loosely, similar to a cat, but much more loyal.  Hagrid, as strange as it may sound, had given it to me as a present when I had returned here as a professor… and it was the only gift in my life that actually had touched me.  (Though it might have been not so noticeable had I really received all that many gifts in my life…)  Though, I would never let anyone know of this, mind you.  It would be image shattering if I let it be known that I respected Hagrid for giving me… a fluff ball.  The thing squeaked at me and I reluctantly brought my hand down to pet the thing.  A Vizet I think is what he had called it…  I shook my head and let the thing purr.  "Miss me Savior?"  If you can't tell, Hagrid also named it…  He was strange, had a good heart, but strange…  It squeaked at me and half sneezed in response to me and I forced out a laugh.  It was my only companion since my wife had died at the hands of Voldemort.  After that I turned myself in and gave my daughter to the ministry so that she would be safe.  I had wanted them to kill me, I had nothing left to live for, and she was my life…  Yet for some reason Dumbledore had forgiven me, and gave me a reason to live… A way to perhaps help defeat Voldemort, as I was the only one of his followers to turn… But my beautiful wife Cirsa… My throat seemed to tighten and close as air refused to enter my lungs.  I picked up Savior and cuddled the little thing.  It never failed… That horrible empty feeling that always entered my heart every time I thought of her… breaking it all over again.  It was what I wanted most, but I knew I would never be able to love another woman- she still had my heart.  No, I could never betray her memory like that…  I sighed and set Savior on the floor; it paused staring up at me with its big eyes, blinked and then started to walk away.  I ran my hand through my hair and cringed at the residue that came from it.  Perhaps I should do something about that.        

            I smiled at the idea and went to my cabinet to pick up a new potion I had made a few weeks ago.  I hadn't the courage before, this potion that would actually soften and 'un-grease' my hair, but after all, why not now?  It was still a few weeks before term and it would go back to its normal slickness by then.  Not to mention I would love to see the expressions on everyone's faces when they seen me with nice hair.  Oh it would be a riot to see their…  shock.  Oh my, he actually CAN clean up… 

            I shrugged off my clothes and made the bath, and then sank into it.  After a few minutes of soaking within the soothing warmth of the water, I reached for the potion, and then after a slight hesitation, popped the top and worked it into my hair.  I let it set in to work its magic, and then got out of the tub without rinsing out e potion, it would air dry well enough.  (I never said that I was taking the bath for the potion… Just to soak… Honestly.)  I dressed quickly and then looked into he mirror, a soft looking sheen seemed to emanate from my hair.  I smiled from the result of the potion; it had worked.  I left the room and found myself face to …fur ball… with Savior. It squeaked.  "What?" It hopped to my painting of Dumbledore and squeaked again.  Why did I have to have such and intelligent pet?  "I was a bit harsh wasn't I?" It squeaked again.  "Do you think I should go apologize?" It bounced up and down in excitement and I sighed.  Perhaps it was the better thing to do.  After all he has done for me, what right did I have to throw a fit over something as silly as a teaching position?

            All right, so it wasn't so silly, but I did not deserve him my animosity.  I patted my little creature's head and dug out my new robe that was buried deep within my closet.  Minerva had given it to me last Christmas so that I would not look so 'brooding' I believe is what she had said.  It fit my form perfectly on the top to my waist and then ebbed out below that.  It actually was quite complimentary to me, and looked rather nice, but I was attached to my overly large robe that I usually wear.  As soon as I was finished with putting it on I looked at myself in the mirror.  Oh dear… With my new-looking hair and this robe on, I actually looked civilized.  Thou one thing was for sure, I will definitely NOT wear this in front of students, although it will definitely help me out on my apology speech type of air I was going for, for the headmaster.  I opened the door and turned to my pet.  "Savior, do not fret, I shall return." It squeaked and I left my rooms, quickly waking towards the headmaster's office, with my mission, he must hear me out… I soon found myself summoning the stairs to go up to his office.  But… Just before I was within sight I heard voices and stopped myself from going any further.  Like I often did when in my youth I pressed myself against the wall and eavesdropped into their conversation.  I could hear the faint pleasantries between them both, but could not yet tell whom it was that was speaking to Albus.  At least I could tell I just arrived after the other due to where they were in their conversation.  I decided to dare and venture further in so that I could hear them a bit better.

            "So what might I do for you Mr. Potter?" SO it was Potter was it?  It would figure.  Perfect little…

            "You **_KNOW _**why I'm here Professor Dumbledore, what in the bloody hell is going on?"

            "Harry… I had nothing to do with this… outrage if you will.  Please sit." He spoke so quietly that I could barely hear him.  What outrage?

            "**I WON'T SIT! **Isn't there something you can do to change this?" I wonder what all this is about?  Was he not satisfied with his new position? The prat, of course HE wouldn't be, it wouldn't be good enough to be just the DADA professor, he was Harry Potter, and he deserved more… now didn't he?

            "Lemon drop?" I heard a groan and a scattering that more or less indicated that the box of candy had hit the floor… Well well well, it seemed that he had a bit of a temper on him now… "I suppose not…"

            "No, I don't want any! Bloody…" I heard footsteps and I guessed that he was pacing, "I told them!" The boy let out an exasperated sigh, "I told them when she… I told them why I quit being an auror, and look at it!  Why?  Why did they insist on making me become the professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts?  I don't want it!  I want as far away from that category as I can get, and this is what they do!  No, you're Harry Potter, the boy that lived! You're a legend! It will be best that you teach the class…" I heard a thump and I figured he had finally decided to take a seat… heavily.  My curiosity was starting to eat at my mind now… What had happened to him?

            "Harry…"

            "No, I've got to speak it.  You know I wanted the potions position this year- did he not apply?  I thought he applied for the position every year but no one would fill his shoes.  Well, **I'm **willing, let HIM have the job, I-"

            "HARRY POTTER." The boy stopped his rambling immediately.  My ears rang… Was what he was saying true?  He didn't want that position, but the one I currently had?  I think my heart stopped in those few moments before Dumbledore continued.  If it were true, then it should have been me teaching that class this year, that he had actually PLANNED to help me get the position… But why?  I had thought they boy was deliberately trying to sabotage me… "If it were up to me, it would have been done.  It has been most difficult for me to reject his request year after year, but at least in the past there was the basis that it would be too dangerous for him to teach it, and you understand why, but this year is different.  This year I was looking forward to telling him that he could actually have it, after all it was my true intention, but the Ministry heard of your coming, and it was THEY who insisted you have the position instead." I heard a half sob come from Harry.

            "It isn't fair… I don't want the reminder; I don't want to watch another whom I care for die because of me… I don't…"

            "You are at Hogwarts now… You will not need to make such decisions here.  I understand how you-"

            "**_Do_** you?  Ginny died because I had to choose… What happens if… if…"

            "It won't happen here Harry…"

            "I wanted something secluded, not a constant reminder of my failures… Voldemort is dead, why do they insist on bothering me?  Have I not sacrificed enough for them?"

            "I…" Dumbledore stammered on what to say, not that I blame him.  I remember the last time that he spoke like that, not knowing what to say.  It was like when I first came to him, and told him of my wife.  It was the first response I had received from him, and then he welcomed me with open arms… 

            "I have to go…" I heard movement and footsteps towards the door… Oh no.  I quickly and quietly bolted down the steps and a bit down the hall.  I stopped when I was a respective distance from the door and took a deep breath.  I turned around and slowly started to walk back towards the door.  No need to let him know that I was eavesdropping.  I heard his footsteps coming from the stairwell and I quickly donned my 'impassive sneer'.

            He soon emerged from the recess of the stairwell and immediately looked to me.  For a moment he stared at me in shock and I came to stand before him.  After a moment of looking up at him… Wait… Looking UP at him?  "It seems you have grown Mr. Potter." This seemed to bring him out of his shocked trance…

            "Oh… I… Yes, I suppose I did." He pushed up his thick-framed glasses and pointed at my head.  "Your… hair it's… different…" Oh… I forgot about that.

            "Testing a new potion.  Do not worry, it will return to normal soon enough." His eyes went wide for a moment.

            "No no, it's all right, you should keep it that way." I raised my brow at him.  He was acting rather… odd.  "I … I didn't think I would run into you this soon Professor Snape, I-" Tired of listening to his babble, I decided to interrupt.

            "Call me Severus, as it seems we are… Colleagues now.  Congratulations, you have received the position of a lifetime." He stuttered for a moment.

            "But sir, I-"

            "Now would you mind moving out of the way, I must speak with Albus on a pressing matter." He stared at me blankly a moment, and then compliantly moved aside.  I soon passed him.  I know it might seem a bit petty, but I couldn't yet get over the fact that, even though it was not because of him, he had the job I have desired for years… No, desired probably wasn't the right word, more like NEEDED.  I needed the position, I could protect more people that way, for as much as I love potions, and most of the students dreaded the subject, loathed it or simply just did not apply themselves to it.  I sighed as I started up the stairs, and I swear that I felt his eyes following me as I walked away from him.

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A/N- Well, I hope you all liked the beginning of this.  :)  It might be a little while for the next update as I am working on my other fictions as well… any who…

Please review!


	2. Confrontation

A/N- Sorry about the long wait, I haven't had much inspiration for this story, but I think I have started to figure out where it is I am going with this.  If you want to add suggestions, I will definitely consider them… :)  Anyways, I hope that you like this chapter, and I will update as soon as I can.

Chapter 2- **Confrontation**

            I stared out of the window and to the lake.  It was rather odd; Albus had already known I was eavesdropping into their conversation, and before I could speak a word he forgave for my outburst, told me to try and get along with Potter, that perhaps the Ministry would come to their senses soon, and then dismissed me.  Then in a confused daze, my body directed itself here, and thus is how it is, I suppose.  Suddenly I felt that I wasn't alone, and I clenched my jaw.  Who could possibly be here, following me around this school at this time of year?  I smirked, if there was truly someone behind me, than there was only one possibility in my mind.

            "Good evening, Mr. Potter, is there something I might do for you, or are you quite content with just staring at me.  Though, I would rather hope to the former, as I don't truly have the desire, or passion, for being stared at, especially by one such as yourself." I didn't really think that he was there, but I spoke, just in the minute case that he was.  Of course if there WAS someone behind me, now that I had spoken, it bloody well BE Potter.  I was not in the mood for making myself look like the fool.

            "Oh, um, good evening Professor Sn…" He stopped himself and with a quick clearing of his voice, continued, "Severus." I clenched my fist in half surprise and turned my head to him sharply. "I did not realize that you had seen me." I raised my brow and crossed my arms.

            "If you are to call me by my name, I believe that simply Severus will do, or perhaps even Professor Snape if you must be so inclined.  Though as impressed as I am with your obvious effort with this immaculate perplexity, I would rather not be referred as Professor Severus." The boy gawked at me a moment and I smirked at him.  "Now may I ask what it is you wanted of me?"

            "I…" He ran his hand through his hair and his lips pressed into a thin line.  "I was wondering…" I rolled my eyes.  I rested on the wall next to me with a sigh, and my fingers pressed to the bridge of my nose.

            "Yes Potter?"

            "I was wondering- how did you cope with it?  I mean, how did you get over it so easily?  The death, the wrong choices, or perhaps the right ones but with bad consequences.  I…" He ran his hand through his hair again.  Oh Merlin, why me?

            "Simple, I never DID get over it.  I am just netter at not showing it." I watched him as he nearly hyperventilated.  Oh please, please just let him leave me be.

            "I let her die." He fell to his knees.  Why do I let myself get into these situations? I sighed.  "It was my fault, she didn't deserve to die, and just because I pined over her for a couple of years he though t she meant that much to me.  She did… In a way, but not like he thought."  The boy was ranting, though now I stayed fast more to actually hear what had actually happened when Voldemort went down.  We had all been in the dark about it, and I personally was a bit… Unconscious at the time.  Everyone had thought they had been alone, but had found the body of one Cho Chang when they found him at the end, so obviously they were wrong.  I raised my brow to him and he continued.

            "But I had a choice, and I… Had no choice in it.  If it were someone else, anybody else, well outside of the obvious ones, you know, Ron or Hermione, or even" I couldn't take this anymore.

            "Mr. Potter! Will you stop your incessant rambling and tell me already." He closed his eyes and then looked up at me with a strange intensity I didn't expect. I quirked my brow at him suddenly feeling uneasy.

            "It was either she, or the daughter of a traitor.  Someone of whom I had known, and perhaps even…  But that is off the subject, you obviously can tell who it was I chose.  She was innocent, and I know now that was the trap.  The trap had been Cho, and I threw him off guard, so I chose the right one, but…" He shakily stood to his feet and neared me.  With his new height and that odd intensity that I found completely uncharacteristic of him, I felt, for once, that I had the least in the imposing personalities department, between the two of us.  "I have to know something, I must…" I backed away from him a moment, I suddenly felt nervous.  What in the world was wrong with me?  Perhaps it was the news he had just told me, but it couldn't possibly be her, could it?

            "Yes, Potter?"

            "Tell me, Severus, tell me you have heard of a girl named Zheria."  The name whispered inside of my heard and my mouth went dry.

            "Zheria?" My eyes grew wide and suddenly I felt like my soul was being ripped from my body.  I hardly even noticed Potter there, his voice sounding something but the words were incoherent to me.  It _was_ her, my sweet daughter, it was unfair.  I hadn't laid eyes on her since she was born, and HE had.  "She was supposed to be safe… It's why…" My trance was suddenly broken as I felt a hand upon my shoulder.  Potter.  I jerked out of his grip and stepped back from him.

            "I'm sorry." I clenched my jaw as anger suddenly rose within my chest in place of the empty hurt.

            "How. Dare. You.  How dare you bring _her _name so casually to me, you foul breathed feline.  Never, in which I _do _mean, never again bring her up to me again.  And how I was attempting to get along with you.  Obviously second chances are sometimes not meant to be." With that I forcefully walked past him, ignoring the single tear that fell from his eyes by my harsh words.  So be it then, he had no right.


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